Our staff drafted this letter and all of us read it to our first period classes today. I choked up right around "Most importantly".
And remained more or less choked.
The storm of emotions within me today is mirrored in my students and colleagues. I am stunned. Afraid. Confused. Hurt. I feel stupid and naive and small.
The first stage of grief is denial, manifested in me by spastically refreshing my news feed every 8 seconds expecting different results to appear.
I've been zombie-like.
Ineffective and inefficient.
Defeated, deflated, and weary.
I knew this would be the case when I woke up and didn't want to come to work today. I wasn't sure how I'd face a room full of students looking to me to help them understand.
But at the same time. With them is the only place I could imagine being.
Tomorrow we dive back into the literature.
Reading closely and critically.
Unpacking the characters and conflicts and themes from all angles.
Learning about ourselves and our world.
The values we grapple with and the choices that make us who we are.
And this work.
There's honestly nowhere I'd rather be.